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Wednesday, April 9, 2014

The Big Stinker

OK!OK! I know some women don't care to just let one rip anywhere, anytime in front of anyone BUT (Big BUT) I am not one of those!

I can remember the very first time I farted (ok who came up with that word) in front of my now husband.  We were wrestling around and he was tickling me. There were a few other people sitting just steps away. Mid tickle, a short but lout fart managed to escape. I came to a frozen halt, staring at CAB (My honey)! He realized in about a millisecond what had just happened. He then immediately took blame for the short, loud fart. YEP! He pretended like it was him. With the others just a couple steps away, I was dying inside of embarrassment! But he took all the heat! One of the many reasons I love that man!

Still to this day, unless I absolutely have no choice, I still do not fart in front of this man. I just don't. This man has watched me birth 3 children. They will outfart each other. I am just sitting over here saying 'Moms don't fart!'  (The kids believed me for awhile!!)

I have one friend that don't give one little poop (pun intended) about letting one rip in front of her man.  ANother girl told me that she goes #2 with the door open!! WHAT!!!!!???? I would never!

So what do you think? Is it ok to let one rip? Or do you like to pretend us women don't fart!!?

Wordless Wednseday jump ball

Saturday, April 5, 2014

So You Live In An Apartment

I am a Property Manager for a complex of nearly 200 units. Let me tell you, it is a different world once I enter that complex in the morning!  I seriously could write a book. Here are a few things I wanna share that I find insane!

1.  It is NOT my fault that your A/C is not working.  Screaming at me will not get it fixed any faster. IT IS ONLY 53 DEGREES OUTSIDE..OPEN YOUR DAMN WINDOWS!!!
          (Seriously, it is not even hot enough to safely run the units)

2.  There are NO original excuses for not being able to pay the rent! I have heard them all. My direct deposit is messed up, my boss didn't pay me, I  have tried calling all week but I couldn't find your number, (my office is 2 feet from your apartment!)   Try a little honesty. I would rather hear you tell me that you have to pay late and that is all. (Late fees included of course!)

3. Apartment 2 recently called the cops on Apartment 3 6 times in 3 hours. YES 6 TIMES. Because their TV was too loud. It was 6 pm on a Saturday evening.   SERIOUSLY PEOPLE! This is a multi dwelling unit. There will be noise. You signed up for an apartment. Not a private house. You will get used to most everyday noises.  This is MARCH MADNESS...If someone wants to enjoy the basketball game for 2 hours and 47 minutes, then just ride it out....it is not that serious!

4. Garbage. This has to be the one thing that I will never ever understand!!!!!! You walked your garbage all the way to the dumpster...and then instead putting the bag inside of the dumpster, you sat the bag next to the dumpster.  WHAT!!?? Please tell me the reasoning behind this!

5.  I know you have a dog. You don't want to pay the pet rent because you are "special" so you decide to HIDE your dog. Guess what. You are stupid if you think for one second that I don't know. 

Stay Tuned...I have a lot more of these to come!!!!