The Big Stinker

OK!OK! I know some women don't care to just let one rip anywhere, anytime in front of anyone BUT (Big BUT) I am not one of those!

I can remember the very first time I farted (ok who came up with that word) in front of my now husband.  We were wrestling around and he was tickling me. There were a few other people sitting just steps away. Mid tickle, a short but lout fart managed to escape. I came to a frozen halt, staring at CAB (My honey)! He realized in about a millisecond what had just happened. He then immediately took blame for the short, loud fart. YEP! He pretended like it was him. With the others just a couple steps away, I was dying inside of embarrassment! But he took all the heat! One of the many reasons I love that man!

Still to this day, unless I absolutely have no choice, I still do not fart in front of this man. I just don't. This man has watched me birth 3 children. They will outfart each other. I am just sitting over here saying 'Moms don't fart!'  (The kids believed me for awhile!!)

I have one friend that don't give one little poop (pun intended) about letting one rip in front of her man.  ANother girl told me that she goes #2 with the door open!! WHAT!!!!!???? I would never!

So what do you think? Is it ok to let one rip? Or do you like to pretend us women don't fart!!?

The 7 Dreadful Reasons I Loathe the GROCERY

I am going to let you in on a little tidbit about myself. (OK! OK! Really it's HUGE for me!) My closests friends know and my family knows. My little ducks definitely know.....

I absolutely DESPISE, DISLIKE, LOATHE, DETEST going to the grocery store. I would rather cut off my big toe every week then endure another isle blocking, pajamma wearing, cart hogging shopper! Ok! So it sounds like I really dislike it, right?  Well yes, it is eactly what it sounds like! Please keep in mind that I am very grateful that I havethe means to weekly grocery shop. These things just annoy the crap out of me.

Read on for the top reasons I'd rather cut off my big toe!

This may come off a little negative, however, I am super sure a lot of you will be able to relate!

1. The Isle HOG.  We have all encountered this person. They have 3-4 feet of space but choose to stand directly in the middle of the isle with their cart parked crooked, therefore not allowing any shopper in wither direction any space to pass. I SCOOT OVER PLEASE! If you have to take your time in front of the pickles, that is ok. Just make room for us to be able to get our pickles also!

2. The MMM HMM person.  This person could be the Isle Hog or any of the others listed or even a regular shopper just as myself. You need to get past this person and you politely say "Excuse Me" and their response is a smart aleck, might as well roll their eyes "MMM, HMM".  SERIOUSLY! A simple "Excuse Me" in return will suffice. No eye rolling. MMM,HMM's needed!

3. The Slow Slug.  Every week when you go to the grocery, you have a list, whether mentally or literally. Most of us buy the same 20 items each week and the additions we need for this weeks menu. Basically, you know what you are getting and you know where everything is because you come every single week. I prefer to ZIP IN AND ZIP OUT.  I know what I need and I know where it is.  MOVE OUT OF THE WAY PEOPLE!

4.  The Robber.  I blame this one on the store and not the shopper. Remember when you could take in $20-$30 bucks and stock up nicely??? Yes, pick your brain, it has been awhile. Now $100 and my  cart isn't even full.** I have this expectation, $100=Overflowing cart. I try hard to change this expectaion but it is hard. Hard earned money that is!  This does make me mad. 

5.  Empty Shelf?  To me, This is a big NO NO. The sale you are advertising that started  20 minutes ago is already sold out? NO WAY. You can not convince me that you opened at 6am and are sold out by 6:20am.  This is just mind trick. I would rather something NOT be on sale, then the store pretend they are having an awesome sale.

6.  Customer Service. My husband prefers to have deli sliced turkey from the actual store deli. Every single time, I will be ignored. I know they see me. I saw them glance. This is your job.  Take a little pride in your job and offer great customer service.  Your customers will greatly appreciate it.

Worst offender
7. The SPACE INVADER. This has to be the worst offense. We all know that most of the stores now drive you towards USCAN services. I prefer them..  I have a cart full and a lane to accomodate my cart full. I scan some, bag some then scan again. This takes time. Do NOT walk up and stand right next to the register while I am still mid transaction. If you can read my screen or see what type of coupons I have, then you are way too close. How can I punch in my pin number if you are literally standing over my shoulder. THIS IS SO RUDE. Stay back. This is so disrespectful and my #1 violation.  (Secret. This causes me want to go super slowwww and take my sweet ** time. Yes it is immature.)  I post about this on my personal facebook often. Maybe I can educate someone on the matter. It really it truly rude to not wait your turn. This is a kindergarten rule.

Share your horror stories below or ways to make the grocery more pleasurable!

This is by far my least favorite chore. I usually want to order pizza after grocery shopping. Who wants to cook after all that mental anguish that just took place!

I am also a 6am shopper. I have learned after a gazillion trips, that the earlier the better!

My TOP STUPID THINGS THIS WEEK

Yes these are my top 10 stupid things on my mind this week..Keeping that in mind these are things that may have already happpened (not this week) But they are very much on my mind this week!

10.  NORTH WEST  WTF! WTH! OMG! What have these parents done to this child. I personally despise Kanye West and I have no real opinion on Kim K...However, they are adding feul to my dislike fire by naming there baby something so ignorant. I think NORI is cute..BUT this child will be made fun of all of their life...
                         While reading up on STUPID ASS baby names I found another that is equally as ignorant as NORTH WEST!    ROB MORROW after a drunken conversation stuck with the drunken name for their baby girl Tu. Yes that's right Tu! As in Tu Morrow. Again, WTF!
   So I guess today's Poll is Which is the Stupidest baby name of them all?
       A. North West
       B. Tu Morrow
       C. Both equally as Stupid!

9.  Twitter. I am 35 years old. I am the generation that didn't get the technolgy until after high school!  MYSPACE was awesome followed up by a much better and fantastic FACEBOOK! Then some person decided to throw in Twitter and Hashtags  (oh YES that is a baby's name also! click here) I can't completely figure Twitter and the Hashtags out. I try. Ive tried several times. I just don't know how it works..I ask my 16 year old for help and all I get is an EYEROLL!!

8.  SHARKNADO! Enough said! ( I am sure I will still watch)

7.  THE stupid HOT that it is. It is so stinking hot. I can't even go outside at night without breaking out in an overall sweat. Places will sweat where I didn't even know I can sweat!  I don't want winter by any mneans but I would like to be able to breathe when I walk out side! Bye Bye Humidity!

6. They put the Boston Bomber on the cover of Rolling Stone..Yea Ya I know everyone has an opinion on this...Here is MINE.   They are selling out to SELL OUT of magazine. DON"T BUY IT. People will and that is why they did it. I WON"T BE SUPPORTING their Sell Out SELL OUT!

5.  Why do I care about Justin Biebers 16th tattoo in 3 years?

4. Honey BOO BOO's scratch and sniff..I came home and my daughter says here pick a number. I pick 6. She then advises me to scratch and sniff! Since she is my sweet daughter I played along thinking it was gonna be some old school strawberry shortcake stuff or anything related..NO INSTEAD IT WAS A SCRATCH AND SNIFF OF HONEY BOO BOO AND HER POO FOR A PROMO FOR THE SEASON PREMIER.
YUCK YUCK YUCK!  I so hope your daughter didn't trick you!

3, 2 and 1. 
We are just gonna sum up these last 3 with my number one so I can write about it all as I have the past few days (click here to see my other one and here)  
I am so angry with some of our fellow Americans.
I am so tired of hearing of Zimmerman and how he is GUILTY when infact he was proven NOT GUILTY.
I wish people would let the Martin family be. Let them grieve, wallow, deal with the verdict and last but not least heal.


What about you...what is on your STUPID list this week! I love to hear it! DON'T FORGET TO ANSWER THE BABY NAME POLL!!


Want to know why I am so upset with our Americans who are acting crazy about the verdict. See yesterdays post right here and here!

The Lake~A great way to forget about the bills!!

We are campers. We love to go to the lake. If I had it my way we would have a house down there and go every single weekend. (maybe one day). I sometimes dream of living there but there are very few places to get a job, besides the local diner that employees probably 10 people total.

When I head to the lake I know that for 3-5 days I will have NO problems. It is a great way to forget everything for a couple of days. I absolutely take advantage of this. I don't worry about a single thing.

My favorite part of the lake is this:
                    I generally will always wake up before everyone else. I like to quietly sneak out of the tent and sit by the fire (that I usually have to cheat to light) and just listen to the morning sounds. The early birds, the early birds going out on their boats and making slow waves hit. There are sounds of other campers waking up for the morning and starting breakfasts   There is ALWAYS a family of ducks. Ducks are pretty amazing. The babies really count on their mothers.  It is very relaxing and my brain can actually relax. This is by far what I look forward to when going camping.

I highly recommend taking a camping trip with your family. It is a great way to bond. There are several things to do. We don't have a boat and it is sooo much to rent one. We do not lack things to do.
We stay at the campground beach a lot. There is a park there and a volleyball net. We go hiking and FISHING and we even have found a local waterfall that we now go enjoy. They have movie night on Saturdays. There is a big white wood board and they use old style projectors. You bring blankets and snacks and have a good ol time!

It is an all around cheap family trip also. The food is probably the most expensive but you can coupon your way there!! 

The time is here and I am ready to pack up and go..!


Here are a few pictures of us at the lake!

Heading to the beach for the day!

Having a coke in the camper (LOVE THE CAMPER! MY DAD TREATED ME AND MY SIS TO THIS! THANKS DAD!!!!)

Sand Castle Competition!

Dead Beat DadISM

UGH! ONE WORD...That sums up what word I WANT to express how I really feel about Dead Beat Dads.
(Yes I know their are Dead Beat Moms also, But today I will focus on these MEN. Well they are not REAL men but we will call them that for now.

I can't fathom how so many of these men can just drop their kids. Or get a woman pregnant to never speak to her again. Or tell a child they are coming and never show (this is the worst).

Since the day I became pregnant I was a mother. My husband was a father. It did not start when my child was born. It did not start on my child's first birthday. Us being parents started the very day I put urine on a stick and saw 2 lines.

You have to be a pretty big piece of poop to NOT want to see your child. Think of all the sweet moments that are missed. The cuddly, precious smiles. Yes I know there are poopy diapers and spit up along the way but those moments are easily forgotten when you hear a "Ma-Ma".

How can any man not stake claim on their child?
How can not support your child with Love unconditionally?
How can you do this to your child's mother?
 She was good enough for you to lay up with. I DON"T CARE anything about the relationship with the mother. If she has YOUR child you respect her and get along with her for your child. SUCK IT UP.  GET ALONG. SHOW LOVE and try, try, try to give your child a great life.
The statistics are true. Sadly, they are. Girls without fathers will seek that love from the WRONG MEN.
Boys without fathers will rebel and go down the wrong road. (I know that this doesn't always happen, but in most cases.)

When my kids tell me stories, I can usually automatically figure out that the child they are telling the story about doesn't have a father at home.

MEN. C'MON

MAN UP!

Be a father that your son can be proud of. You should see the way MY SON looks at HIS FATHER. His father teaches him daily. My 8 year old son will hold the door for any woman. Because his dad has taught him. He can build ramps for his hot wheels...because his dad taught him.

DON'T Be A DEAD BEAT.
You are a statistic if you are a Dead Beat.

MAN UP

How I was able to watch American Idol

Does anything ever happen in you house that is so SUPER cute you want to share with the world! This is MY Share. Here is the back story. My child Charlie who is 8 was being creative with the DVD cases and building a tower....NOW NOW I know these aren't a toy but he was gleefully allowing me to watch American Idol by keeping himself busy with this! He was so excited that it was ACTUALLY working that he was innocently giggling out of control.

If you have had a bad day this will turn it around! If you have had a great day this will add a little more Sunshine! It will for sure make you laugh! It is under a minute and totally worth that minute of your life!!

ENJOY! Smile & Share with someone who needs a smile!!

If you really knew me

if you really knew me
           You would know that I am Super messy although I try not to be. I have a clean, organized view of how I want things to be but can never, ever seem to get things in any kind of order. 
            You would also know that my brain also feels SUPER cluttered. My thoughts are often jumbled up and I am sure that is why I am SUPER messy.

if you really knew me 
        You would know that my idea of a perfect off day is laying up on the couch watching TV and doing nothing else. Tuning out the world is a great way to let your brain have an off day!
         You would also know that I fell SUPER guilty when I do this. I feel like I need to be up cleaning the house or playing with the kids. I don't know why I beat myself up with the guilt but I do.

if you really knew me 
        You would know that i have know idea what to do with my life. I have no idea. I am 34 years old and I try to picture what I should be doing. I DO NOT KNOW!. I work job to job but that is exactly what they are...JUST A JOB. I want to find something that I WANT TO DO. Something I will love. I just don't know what that is. I have spent numerous hours trying to figure this out.

if you really knew me
            I think laundry is the worst chore in the whole world. Housework sucks all around but the laundry is the absolute worst of them all.


IF YOU REALLY KNOW ME THEN YOU KNOW THAT
MY CHILDREN AND MY HUBBY ARE MY WORLD. I WILL DO ANYTHING FOR THEM. I WOULD SACRIFICE ANYTHING FOR THEM AND WOULD DIE FOR THEM.
ONE OF THOSE
YOU MESS WITH THEM YOU MESS WITH ME KIND OF THINGS!!!

stay tuned for more 
        if you really knew me








Then you would know that I love my children more than anything else in the world. I would die for them or make any sacrifice necessary.

6 Stupid Words

Do you ever wonder where words come from? Who makes up new words for new things? While saying a word out loud this week I thought this has to be the most Stupid word ever! That made #1 on my list! Read on to see if you agree with my Stupid words! Please add any Stupid words that stick out for you  in the comments!

I challenge all of you to say these aloud. You can't fully understand why they are on the list until you say them aloud! Now if someone is in the room with you please note they make think you are a little bit crazy!!


6.  Butt. Try it in a sentence! My butt is cute! She has no butt!  There are several other words that come in handy and are much better than butt. Booty, bottom, trunk are a few! I personally use booty!

5. Boobs & Titties! This one goes hand in hand with Butt for me! BOOBS! Titties!! Who in the world decided calling our breasts BOOBS!? AND it stuck! BOOBS! BOOBIES! Again, there are several alternatives! The boring ol Breasts. Tits, bosom, knockers, hooters, canons, rack, melons...THIS LIST COULD GO ON FOREVER! (maybe that is a whole other post!)

4.  POOP! Again, how did poop come to be the name of our bowel movements. Poop! Say it. Also take a Sh*t falls in with the who came up with it?  Poopy Poopy poopy...NEED I SAY MORE!!!?


3.  Booger. Yucky old booger. What else would we call a booger? I have no idea but it is still a silly word 
and sounds silly when you say it aloud!

2.  Fart! Did you fart? Who farted. Fart! 

1.  Stupid! This is the word that got me writing this post. Say it out loud! "STUPID"! How stupid is stupid? It is a funny sounding word!!! Also try stupidity! Sounds just as STUPID!!

What word do you think should be on this list??? I;d love to here your STUPID words!!!

www.openmatters.com 

Have a great day!

TO LEGALIZE OR NOT TO LEGALIZE

This is just a quick opinion post....and of course I want to hear your opinions as well.
I live in Kentucky. Recently 2 states have legalized marijuana.

Top 10 reasons I think they it is OK to legalize Marijuana, Pot, and Weed 

                In no particular order..

10.  It is safer than alcohol. If you have ever had too much to drink then you know that you can quickly lose memories and stature. " I did what last night!?" has been said too many times. This is not a known side effect of pot unless mixed with other substances.

9.  Legalized marijuana will help control the money flow and can be used to help our states and country as opposed to criminal gangs and associations.  It will also control the gazillions of our dollars used to fight the drug war. Marijuana is not toxic and should not be in this drug war.

8.  Medical reasons. It helps patients with cancers and other illnesses to overcome their pain, suffering and weight issues.

7. It is a great alternative for anxiety

6.  THC is less toxic than nicotine AND alcohol.

5. There are no known cases of anyone overdosing on Marijuana. I am 34 and with the prescription and heroin overload today, I  have known of a lot of people who have overdosed over the past 5 or 6 years. It is very sad but true. 

4. Marijuana makes you feel better. Whether you have had a hard day at work or have been ill, it can relax you and kill the stress. You should have the option to go have a drink or go have a joint.

3.  Weed is like tattoos. Remember when only the weirdo's had tattoos. It wasn't always acceptable and there was something wrong with you if you got ink. Well the same for pot..Pot is associated with hippies and burnouts and that's just not the case any longer. We all get tattoos. It is a great way to express ourselves and they are beautiful. Now the boy who worked hard all day long writing a song needs to relax his brain and chooses to do so by having a hit of weed. It is OK! Same thing as having a drink!

2. Violence. I truly believe there will be less violence. No one will die if they are late on a shipment of someones pounds of weed. No one will die if the sell it in the "wrong" territory. These things will not exist if we can go to our local store and purchase what we need.

1. It is fun. (or so I hear)


AND JUST FOR FUN..........

NOW I KNOW THIS MAY OR MAY NOT CAUSE A RUCKUS....PEOPLE HAVE SPLIT POSITIONS ON THIS MATTER. AS OF 2012 THE U.S. PEOPLE ARE EQUALLY SPLIT ON WHETHER OR NOT MARIJUANA SHOULD BE LEGALIZED.

I AM NOT A POT SMOKER. THESE ARE ALL MY OWN OPINIONS AND DO NOT REFLECT THOSE OF ANY OTHERS.

SO WHAT DO YOU THINK. LEGAL OR ILLEGAL???

Dreams

I have very vivid dreams. I wake up and can normally remember my whole dream. I think it's amazing how your subconscious can store things for later and then treat you or haunt you with crazy visions!

I can remember being 11 years old and having a dream about my dad and my best friend dying. (They are both still alive) I was at their funeral and sobbing loudly. I woke up and I was really crying. This is probably when my infatuation with dreams began. How can I cry in my dream and really being crying!??

I have also had the same dream a gazillion times. Each time I am in a jungle/safari like setting and I am trying to climb rope steps up a gigantic hill. I am scared and freaking out the whole time. I have no idea why I have this dream. I am scared of heights in real life but I don't think these two things are related.  This dream is also very colorful. All the colors are extra bold and detailed. Weird right!?

I came across this article that I wanted to share.

It is the 10 MOST AMAZING FACTS ABOUT DREAMS!  If you are a dream lover like me you will appreciate it. My 2 favorite facts are #8 and # 3.
#3 talks about our soul leaving our body and #8 is about how our real life is incorporated into our dreams! You will see why these 2 are my favorite.

Which ones can you relate to? Click the link below to read all 10! Let me know what you think!
10 MOST AMAZING FACTS ABOUT DREAMS